So, it is a brand new day in a brand new month and soon I will be celebrating 6 months of sobriety! That is quite an achievement for someone who dedicated 38 years to pouring poison down her throat.
Life is ever so much better now. Yeah, sometimes I get pissed because I can’t be like “normal” people and drink once in a while. I just can’t, I’m an alcoholic. I have a disease that tells me I don’t have a disease and I am completely defenseless over taking that FIRST drink. I don’t stay mad about it because life is so much better without alcohol and its destructive qualities.
Gladly, I live my life in 24-hr. segments and just for today, I promise myself that I won’t drink. I don’t listen to the little lie in the back of my head that tells me, “Oh, just one little glass of wine won’t hurt you!”.
One little glass of wine turns to a bottle of wine that turns to a 12-pack of beer, that turns to a fifth of whiskey that turns to weeks, then years, of insanity. We all know that the definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. I’m pretty sure if I ever drink again, it will kill me.
Today, I am doing things differently. I am living my life fully (not just existing with the obsession of that “next drink”). So many gifts have come my way and I don’t mean material things.
I have deeper relationships, mostly. So many things are getting accomplished. When I drank I used to be bored to tears and depressed (alcohol is a depressant, imagine that!). I don’t have to worry about hiding the fact that I am drinking too much, I have lots more money (because I am not wasting it on poison). I don’t stink all the time! The list goes on and on…there are way more benefits to staying sober than to caving in to a disease that kills.
The best part of being in recovery is my spiritual life. Alcoholism is as much a spiritual disease as it is a physical addiction. We try to fill that hole in our soul with something called a “spirit”. And it is not a Godly spirit, I can assure you. Name one time that you can remember someone shouting, “Hey, isn’t this great, look how much I have accomplished, and I owe it all to alcohol!”.
Day by day, I am seeing things more clearly. And you know what, I wouldn’t trade this life for any other!
Thanks for letting me share!