“When people run from God, it makes me wonder, what are they so afraid of. I have lived without God in my life and can say that life with Him in it is the difference between a dinky roller coaster at a carnival (without Him) and a spectacular coaster at a big park (with Him)! It cracks me up when people think they can do it better for themselves, It is like trying to steer a car that someone else is driving, chances are you will wreck every time.”
Sobriety Matters
eternellement-reconnaissant asked: I have fallen for this wonderful human being; he's 29 and an alcoholic. I've asked him to get help but he doesn't want it. I know that in order for someone to change, they need to want it for themselves but it's one of the hardest things to watch happen. Any advice?
First let me say you are one of my dearest followers. You like and reblog me more than anyone else and I really appreciate your follow.
You are absolutely correct, no one can stop drinking and get into a program of recovery unless they want it for themselves. Often times it takes consequences (dui, wrecks, jail, harm to self or others, health decline, etc) before one may stop and think long enough about what they are doing to themselves and those they love.
My advice would be to establish boundaries with him. It is okay to tell him you don’t want to be around him when he is drunk because it hurts you. He may respond with “I don’t do anything to you when I’m drunk so why should you care” or something of that nature. Just make it clear to him that what he is doing is hurting his body, mind, spirit and soul and that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It will always get worse, it will never get better.
If he argues that he is not an “alcoholic”, ask him if he can have just one drink. One beer. One glass of wine. Ask him if he can have one drink and not keep going. That it the litmus test. No alcoholic can ever have just one, our disease tells us we don’t have a disease and we don’t stop until we get stupid or pass out!
When there are no consequences from drinking excessively, it is difficult for one to realize they have a problem. That being said, it is often hard to set boundaries and do the “tough love” thing on those we care for so deeply.
All actions must be done in love. Lovingly tell him it hurts you too much to see him like this. Lovingly tell him you will gladly be around him when he is not drinking but you choose not to be around him when he is. If he doesn’t want to be around you at all because of this he really doesn’t care much about your feelings. Alcoholics are very selfish, self-centered people. I know that sounds harsh but we don’t realize how much we hurt those we love while we are “in the disease”. It is only in recovery that our heads clear up and we can see the wreckage we have created in our lives.
Hope this helps, please know that everything happens for a reason and this might be your season for staying strong for him.
Love,
Carrie (aka Sobriety Matters)
“I relied on God to resurrect the hope that had died, and to keep His promise that I am loved. He surrounded me with people who reminded me, over and over again, that the time and effort and pain of facing my real issues would be worth it in the end. You know what? They were right.”
Amy (via to-love-ones-self)
(Source: amysmanifesto.blogspot.com, via to-love-ones-self)
Another day sober! It just keeps getting better and better. I have found that my focus is on other things now and the obsession to drink has left me. God is so good!
If you, or someone you know is struggling with alcohol addiction, I encourage you to seek help. It is out there. You will be amazed at the great life awaiting you in sobriety!
Daily Meditation from In the Rooms
May 31
Attachment to the Familiar
My attachment to what is familiar can keep me from moving forward in my life. Moving into new areas of experience necessitates experimenting with and recombining the known. If I want to swim in the water, I have to leave the security of the diving board. My soul expresses itself through me; anything that I can do to unblock and open my channels of creativity and productivity allows soul to come through more fully. It is fear that stands in my way - not only fear of the unknown, but also fear of loss. Even if I want to move through and beyond a stage or circumstance of my life, moving beyond is still a loss of the known. Today I will put my faith in the unseen. I trust that God will take care of me if I am willing to take a risk, to make a move toward more of me.
I am willing to lose something that feels familiar.
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves: we must die to one life because we can enter into another.”
Anatole France
